Gray Divorce: Tips for Couples Separating After 50

Divorce is difficult at any age, but those over 50 can face extra complications. The breadwinner could be hit with a spousal support obligation extending well into retirement. Or a spouse might need to reenter the workforce or find a job for the first time in a world where many companies hesitate to hire older adults. And, of course, there’s the emotional toll of losing a long-term marriage.

“The financial realities are a lot larger when you’re older,” says Pasquale J. Crispo of Hariri & Crispo. “So it makes it more stressful than a short-term divorce.”

Preparing for Divorce: The Legal Process and Financial Planning

Filing the petition is just the beginning. Dividing joint assets—property, investments, and pensions or retirement accounts, to name a few—can be tricky. New expenses, including the cost of setting up two households and coming up with a portion of the kids’ college tuition, may blindside the unprepared.

You’ll also need to make sure you have your own health insurance, either through COBRA or a pricey individual policy. “It’s an added expense that I don’t think a lot of people factor into their budget,” says Elysa Greenblatt of Greenblatt Law.

Be aware that cars, houses, or other assets, even if you own the title or deed, can be considered marital property if you acquired them after you wed. Crispo recently counseled a husband whose wife had “squirreled away a lot of money” to her IRA, “under the illusion that it’s her money. But it’s not. It’s marital money and it’s subject to equitable distribution. My client, the husband, is entitled to 50 percent of it. The same is true of anything that he put into an IRA or a retirement fund.”

On the other hand, if you owned property before you married, part or all of it may be considered separate and off limits. Crispo urges his clients to keep accurate records of anything they purchased or inherited when they were single.

Getting Clear on Your Financial Situtation

Especially among older couples, it’s not uncommon for the spouse who doesn’t handle the finances to realize they know little about the couple’s bank accounts and other money-related matters. “We talk to clients all the time who really are in the dark about how everything works financially,” says Greenblatt. “If you’ve been married a long time, you also have had a long time of being used to not handling that, and then suddenly you’re taking care of that by yourself and also trying to figure out what happened to all of your money.”

This can make it especially tough for the non-working spouse to document their contributions over the years. Greenblatt suggests ordering a tax transcript from the IRS or trying to find an old statement. Even a page or two can help establish a financial history during the marriage.

Sorting Out Spousal Support, Retirement Plans, and Other Financial Considerations

A good divorce attorney can help you achieve a realistic outcome. Crispo gives the example of a 58-year-old woman with a high-paying career who demanded a monthly alimony of $5,000, claiming she didn’t earn enough on her own. “Just because they’re older doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re required to get everything [they want] in the divorce case,” he says. “You’ve got to find a lawyer you can trust … and who is not going to give you expectations that are unrealistic.”

Greenblatt also recommends hiring a financial planner since your budget will change once you’re divorced. Many couples are unaware that, if they’ve been married at least 10 years, the spouse with the lesser income can collect Social Security benefits based on the ex’s higher earnings. “That can be a real benefit,” Greenblatt says. “The spouse whose income the calculation is based upon can still get the full amount. And the other spouse can get an amount equal to 50 percent.”

Get Legal Advice Early On

Even if you’re not sure you want to file for divorce right away, you should consult a legal expert, Greenblatt says. “We talk to people who are in all sorts of stages in their marriages, and having the information about what it will look like is really important. Sometimes people say, ‘I’m not ready,’ as if kind of apologizing that they might not be moving forward. From our perspective, that’s not a problem. It’s a big decision to make.”

Find Experienced Legal Help for the Divorce Process

If you’re considering divorce proceedings, visit the Super Lawyers directory to find an experienced divorce lawyer in your area.