Discovery with Michael C. Markham

My nickname is … Rugged Man (tongue-in-cheek).

If you were in my office, you’d … tell me it was a mess. And I’d tell you to leave.

My colleagues would be surprised to know that … I attended 13 years of Christian school: K-12.

The quality I most like in a lawyer is … honest brevity.

When I started, I wish I knew … many lawyers had apparently never read the ethical rules.

My career high point (so far) has been … representing the Chapter 11 trustee in the Brasota Mortgage scheme case.

If I weren’t a lawyer, I’d be … a shock jock on the radio, or similar controversial personality.

The SCOTUS decision I’d overturn is … Citizens United. How do we know that the Russians aren’t funding everything?

My favorite Twitter feed is … @RoyMooresHorse. I own two horses and my wife rides. So we like horses and respect their opinions. Our lake house is in Winston County, Alabama. In the [December U.S. Senate special election won by Doug Jones], Roy Moore received 83 percent of the vote in Winston County, so we saw a lot of news on Roy Moore.  

My fictional hero is … Fletch.

My most bizarre talent is … wake-surfing. Check out my video on youtube—search “beer breakfast-surfing in Alabama.”

The talent I wish I had is … playing a musical instrument.

The most fascinating person I ever met is … Quentin Tarantino. I met him at a NASCAR race in New Hampshire. A friend got us great access, including to the NASCAR skybox. I met Tarantino there, and he was kind enough to actually have a conversation with me.

The craziest thing I witnessed in a courtroom is … a witness who admitted on the stand that he executed a false affidavit. And explained that he signed it because the opposing party offered him $1,000. When asked why he chose to come clean, he said, “Because the guy never paid me the $1,000.”

The movie line I quote most often is … “I’m just living the dream.”—Chazz Reinhold, Wedding Crashers.

The last TV show I binge-watched was … Modern Family. Phil is awesome.

If I won the lottery, I’d … quit my job that same day.

My courtroom walk-up music would be … Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.”

If I had a time machine … I’d go back to Nov. 16, 1991, and change the wind. You’d have to be a Noles fan to understand.