Four-Way Stop Etiquette, Nose Cracking and the Wisdom of Jack Handey

Discovery with Stephen Larson

Published in 2020 Minnesota Super Lawyers magazine

By Stephen Larson on July 20, 2020


If you were in my office, you’d … see a very large dead plant.

The quality I most like in a lawyer is … humor.

My pre-trial routine is … a leisurely stop at the bathroom.

My career high point (so far) has been … any jury trial win.

If I weren’t a lawyer, I’d be … a stay-at-home dad.

When I win a case, I celebrate by … sleeping at night.

I can do a pretty good impersonation of … David Dusek. Dave is a colleague of mine that I like to tease because of his Southern accent.

My real-life hero is … my wife, Frieda. She’s so gracious to me. 

On weekends I … love to do art with my daughters.

My most bizarre talent is … to crack my nose. Seriously, I can crack my nose. 

On my best day I … smile without having to tell myself to smile.

My motto is … Always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, “Hey, can you give me a hand?” you can say, “Sorry, got these sacks.” –Jack Handey

I get angry when … another car clearly pulls up to a four-way stop before me, and the driver tries to wave me through the intersection. You were there first. Just drive through the intersection before I lose my mind.

My earliest memory is … pushing my oldest sister off a rocking horse.

The movie line I quote most often is … My children would say it is the line from Caddyshack: “You’ll get nothing and like it.” 

Nothing cheers me up like … ice cream smothered with chocolate syrup and melted peanut butter. 

My guilty pleasure is … ice cream smothered with chocolate syrup and melted peanut butter.

My courtroom walk-up song would be … “Centerfield” by John Fogerty.

The craziest thing I witnessed in a courtroom is … a defendant try to enter pleas of guilty for the uncharged offenses of heresy and witchcraft.

The question I wish people would stop asking is … “When are you going to grow up?”

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