A Change of Heart

Chest pains woke Mark Haefner in the early hours of Jan. 29, 2025.

The St. Louis-based family law attorney had turned 45 two weeks earlier and was under significant stress: He had a busy family law practice, and his daughters Mikayla and Kassidy were getting married within months of each other. “It could be a heart attack,” he thought.

The hours passed, and he continued to feel ill. Then he remembered his family’s history of heart trouble. So at 5 a.m., Haefner woke up his wife, Deanna, and hung a business suit in the car. As they made their way to the hospital, he texted his staff: “If it’s not a heart attack, I have to be in court by 1 p.m.”

In the emergency room, medical personnel ran tests. And while Haefner waited for the results, he began vomiting. Doctors determined they needed to remove his gallbladder, but a cardiologist also discovered an aortic aneurysm—potentially close to bursting—that needed attention sooner rather than later.

Prior to becoming a lawyer, Haefner worked for Missouri’s Department of Social Services, developing permanency plans for children in foster care. There, he saw firsthand what happened when attorneys came unprepared or missed court appearances, situations that often prolonged his clients’ stints in foster care. So, while he waited to go into gallbladder surgery, Haefner began reaching out to judges, opposing counsel, and his clients to reschedule meetings and court dates. And with more than one procedure on the horizon, not to mention recovery time, Haefner asked himself, “Am I going to have a firm on the other side of this?”

After having his gallbladder removed, Haefner sought a second opinion on his heart. The cardiologist, a family friend, recommended he have a type of complex open-heart surgery known as a Ross procedure. Haefner took a day to meet with his team—at the time, an associate and two paralegals—evaluating the firm’s caseload and transferring cases to other firms’ attorneys if necessary.

“I was thinking I’d be back in four weeks,” he says.

But there were complications. When his chest was slow to heal, metal plates were inserted to help his bones fuse. Then he developed an allergy to the metal. The plates, however, needed to remain in his body until his bones repaired themselves. Though the pain was intense, Haefner resisted taking the potentially addictive opioids prescribed to him—relying instead on over-the-counter pain relievers. “I’ve seen so many lives get ruined by people getting addicted to pain meds after an injury,” he says.

A full six months passed before Haefner could return to the office on a part-time basis. “I was very impatient about getting back to work,” he says. A lifelong film fan, he even grew tired of movies. “You sit there and watch four movies and you’re like, ‘What did I even do today?’”

The uncertainty of that time ultimately helped Haefner’s practice, which focuses on divorce cases. “It’s odd to think that having a potentially life-ending medical issue and getting a divorce parallel each other, but the stress of the unknown helped me appreciate what our clients are going through,” he says. “I definitely became much more empathetic. I can tell them what’s likely to happen and when it’s going to happen. But I realize I can’t make any promises.”

He also discovered how much his team could accomplish without his input. “I don’t think I micromanage,” Haefner says with a laugh. “But since I wasn’t there, they figured things out. The most surprising realization was that I’m not irreplaceable.”

Haefner credits his family with helping him make lifestyle changes—like being home in time for dinner most weeknights. “I used to stay at work until 7 or 8 o’clock, and I’d go in one or two days on the weekend for a few hours,” he says. “Now I make it a priority to be home by 6 p.m., because my family is a priority. And if that means I take fewer cases, that’s the way it is.” Occasionally, his daughters and their spouses join him, Deanna and their son, Hudson, for dinner.

He’s made some changes around the office, too. Illustrated scenes from a few of Haefner’s favorite films adorn his walls. Created by artist Madison Gregory, the oil paintings recreate moments from Dumb and Dumber, Office Space and The Shawshank Redemption. The Shawshank image, titled Lords of All Creation, features Morgan Freeman as Ellis Boyd Redding enjoying a cold drink. Says Haefner, “That’s my sit-down-and-take-a-break reminder.”

“The stress of the unknown helped me appreciate what our clients are going through.”