The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth with Shay Meagle

I can’t go a day without … coffee, to-do lists, and true crime podcasts.

If you were in my office, you’d … hopefully smile and laugh. It is very colorful and full of snarky signs, with a whole wall dedicated to funky art prints of various Muppets. The other attorneys in my firm say it has a “good vibe.”

My colleagues would be surprised to know that … I played basketball in college (as I am only a smidge over 5 feet tall). Or maybe that I sing and play the drums and took banjo lessons for years.

When I was a newbie lawyer I … assumed everyone would tell the truth.

The quality I most like in a lawyer is … candor, for sure.

My pretrial routine is … organizing at counsel’s table the many different colored pens, notebooks, and other items I like to use.

If I weren’t a lawyer, I’d … like to be an architect, but I am not sure I have the right skill set for that. When I was younger, before I decided to be a lawyer, I wanted to be an electrician.

I almost quit the law because … I was very disheartened. I felt like the whole legal system was rife with dishonesty—by parties, witnesses, and attorneys; and the courts had become so used to it that it was no longer a big deal, and there were no consequences. I felt this was resulting in judges not being able to rely on attorneys’ words because they had to assume everyone was lying to them. It was really placing parties who were honest and had honest attorneys and followed the courts’ rules at a disadvantage and increasing legal expenses for everyone.

The SCOTUS justice I’d most like to meet is … Oliver Wendell Holmes, “The Great Dissenter.”

The SCOTUS decision I’d most like to overturn is … Korematsu v. United States.

My courtroom walkup music would be … “Paul Revere” by the Beastie Boys, “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, or “Kiss Off” by the Violent Femmes.

A different practice area that intrigues me is … federal criminal defense. I practiced in this area for a short time in Ohio a year into my career, and I really liked it.

I can’t believe more people haven’t read … A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving.

I can do a pretty good impersonation of … Tina Turner. I also do a fairly good impression of the old monorail guides at Busch Gardens.

My fictional hero is … Ma in The Grapes of Wrath—especially at the very end of the book.

My real life hero is … my dad.

My favorite meal is … shrimp and grits.

I get angry when … things are unfair—not necessarily unfair to me—just not fair to someone.

On my best day I … spend time with my granddaughter, my only work involves research and briefing, and I get to make things with my hands.

On my worst day I … am overwhelmed with deadlines and upcoming hearings or trials, and I have to deal with a bunch of administrative tasks.

My motto is … “Livin’ the dream.”

The craziest thing I witnessed in a courtroom is … during a trial in bankruptcy court, while being cross-examined by opposing counsel, my client testified that when he brought up that attorney’s allegations with his former counsel in another matter, that attorney said, “Well, poop on him.” My client was pretty upset at that point on the stand, and stood up and pointed at the opposing counsel, loudly repeating, “Poop on you, [name of opposing counsel],” over and over, stepping out of the witness box and walking towards the attorney. When I got the recording of the trial, I found that part and made it my ringtone for that specific attorney.

My earliest memory is … lying to the police. When I was about 2 ½ years old, my parents woke me up late at night to talk to the police. Our bedroom windows faced the back porch of a neighbor’s house, and they said someone had stolen from the freezer on their back porch, asking if we had seen anything. It did not dawn on me that it was probably a bunch of expensive meat that was stolen—I can remember thinking that there was probably ice cream strewn all over the neighborhood. And for some reason, after my sister told them she had not seen anything, I decided to tell them I saw a vampire committing the crime.

The movie line I quote most often is … “You’re killin’ me, Smalls …”—from The Sandlot.

If I had a time machine, I would … try to fight the urge to use it.

The last TV show I binge-watched was … an old series called City Confidential.

Nothing cheers me up like … great music and JJ (granddaughter).

My guilty pleasure is … true crime and Twizzlers.

My favorite word is … Stachybotrys atra. It is a strain of killer black mold. I heard it on a Forensic Files episode and think it sounds cool.

My least-favorite word is … irregardless, or rather, the fact that people think it is a word.

If I won the lottery I’d … donate a big chunk to the Innocence Project and volunteer my time to help exonerate wrongly convicted folks in the South.

My favorite podcast is … Invisible Choir.

Living or dead, I would most like to have a drink with … Jim Morrison.

I collect … Nixon campaign pens, wooden boxes, and pens.