Uncoupling in the Sunshine State

For many South Florida divorce attorneys, that first face-to-face talk with a client is about establishing realistic expectations.

“Some people come in really hoping the legal system will change their spouse or right an injustice they’ve experienced,” says Odette Marie Bendeck, a family law attorney at Fisher & Bendeck in West Palm Beach. “The emotional overload a party may be experiencing as a divorce begins and progresses can make it painful to hear the ‘reality check.’”

Jeffrey A. Weissman, a family law attorney with Boca Raton’s Gladstone & Weissman, agrees: “You have to give an accurate assessment, not just what they want to hear.”

It’s important, Bendeck adds, for the consumer to find a lawyer who is not only capable but with whom he or she has a relationship fit and feels comfortable talking honestly. “Hiring a smart lawyer is always wise, but if you have no rapport with the lawyer, the process will be far more damaging and upsetting than it needs to be.”

Attorneys say it’s also important for clients to be prepared for the emotional impact of divorce—a stress some therapists say is second only to the death of a child.

“You have to be cognizant and attentive to the emotions you’ll be going through and how it might impact you,” says Weissman, who recommends therapy to his clients. “A healthy client is a more productive client. Therapy is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of strength and self-improvement.”

In South Florida, judges tend to award shared custody of children in divorces, as long as it’s in the child’s best interests, says Juliette E. Lippman of Kirschbaum, Birnbaum, Lippman & Gregoire in Fort Lauderdale.

Divorces involving complex economical or emotional issues sometimes drag on for two years, adds Harold Bluestein of Bluestein and Wayne in Coral Gables. “You have to recognize parties have unique needs on a case-by-case basis,” he says. “It can be inappropriate [to do] what some people might call ‘pigeonholing’ every case.’” 

The best way to make things easier? Sign a prenuptial agreement before you get married, advises Miami family law attorney Robert F. Kohlman of Buckner, Shifrin, Etter, Dugan & Kohlman.

Otherwise, disagreements are likely on everything from property division to alimony. As of this writing, Florida courts can award permanent alimony to spouses, often in marriages of 17 years or more.

Miami is considered a favorable legal environment for those from nearby South and Central America seeking alimony to divorce because of Florida’s laws on both alimony and equitable property distribution. After staying more than six months in the Sunshine State, someone visiting or owning a second home in Florida can try to establish venue in local courts, Kohlman says.

Under Florida law, there’s a presumption that assets will be divided equally between the spouses with some exceptions, including inheritances that have been kept separate.

Alimony law changes have been on the horizon for some time, though they didn’t happen during this year’s regular legislative session, which ended early. It was unclear at press time whether an alimony bill would be addressed during a June special session. The plan was to end lifetime alimony, reducing or stopping alimony payments upon retirement of the paying spouse or at a predetermined time, and requiring judges to consider length of marriage and future earning potential before awarding alimony. If the bill doesn’t pass this year, it may well come up again next session.

“Alimony. Alimony. Alimony. That’s going to be the mantra,” says Kohlman. “Everything we knew before won’t apply.”

In Florida, mediation is required. Lippman estimates that 85 percent to 90 percent of the divorces her firm handles are settled out of court. “You can’t make people settle, but it’s in almost everyone’s best interests if they do settle,” says Lippman. “Attorneys’ fees are very expensive. If the attorneys are fighting, the parties are fighting, it can become very costly.”

Weissman agrees: “To let your fate be decided by a stranger in a black robe is a foolish thing to do.” 

How to Prepare for a Divorce

1. Open individual checking accounts

2. Identify assets and liabilities

3. Collect tax returns

4. Decide on reasonable and achievable objectives

5. Find a lawyer who is not only capable but one you can talk to and trust