Aging Parent Estate Planning: Strategies To Start the Talk

Managing a person’s property and assets after they pass away is a burden that surviving family members must deal with. Estate planning can help ease that burden.

The following article offers helpful information and strategies for discussing estate planning with loved ones before it’s too late. For more information, talk to a local estate planning attorney.

How To Talk to Your Parents About Estate Planning

Talking about end-of-life care is difficult at any age. Younger people often put off estate planning because they think of it as something for older people to worry about. Many people continue to put it off until it’s too late.

But an estate plan is not a nail in the coffin. You can start an estate plan in your 20s and continue updating it throughout your life to ensure it reflects your current wishes and concerns.

It is also easy to put off estate planning because it never seems like the right time to have difficult conversations. But the right time is right now. Talking to your parents about their estate plan can get things started. After you’ve had the difficult talk, you won’t have to worry about it anymore.

Your parents can also benefit from knowing that someone will carry out their wishes when the day comes that they can no longer handle their own affairs.

Five Tips for Estate Planning Discussions

Here are some tips to consider before you start talking with your aging parents.

1. Don’t Tell Them What To Do

Dictating your aging parents’ needs is often the wrong approach. Start by understanding your parents and listening to their concerns.

Like anyone, aging parents may be resistant to making estate plans, confronting aging, and understanding what happens when they pass away. Ask your parents about what they want if they can no longer live on their own. Your parents should dictate their estate plans, even if you disagree.

If they have worries, listen to what they say. You don’t always have to provide answers. Listening is an important part of a meaningful conversation.

Some parents worry about memory issues, including dementia or Alzheimer’s. Other parents want to make sure they can stay in their home and avoid going to a nursing home facility full of strangers. Listening to your parents’ concerns can help ensure you address them together.

2. Find Out What Has Already Been Done

Parents often don’t talk about their estate plans, and children assume nothing has been done. Your parents may already have an estate plan or a partial plan, including a last will and testament, a living trust, a durable power of attorney, and life insurance.

When you talk with your parents, find out what estate plans they’ve already made and who is responsible for carrying them out (such as executors for a will or trustees for a trust).

3. Focus on Care, Not Worst-Case Scenarios

Comprehensive estate planning is not just about closing out an estate or planning a funeral. It also includes care during incapacity and long-term planning for your aging parents.

For example, a revocable living trust allows your family members to use their assets and property during their lives. They can also make changes to their living trust after major life events, like the birth of a grandchild or a new marriage.

With a comprehensive estate plan, your parents can ensure they have the assets, money, and care they need as they age. The estate plan also helps their loved ones and family members to take the burden of probate off their shoulders when they pass away.

4. Use This Time To Do Your Own Estate Planning

Aging parents and their adult children can benefit from addressing their estate plans at the same time. Adult children need an estate plan just as much as their parents, and it is not something you should continue to put off until later.

When helping your parents understand the benefits, tax implications, and estate planning strategies, you can apply this to your own estate plan. Aging parents may also appreciate that you are going through the process alongside them.

5. Get Professional Legal Help

You may have the best intentions, but no matter how much you research online, you should talk to a professional. Experienced estate planning professionals, including attorneys and financial planners, have more experience with real-life issues.

An attorney knows the state law that applies to your situation, including estate planning requirements, backup options, and potential legal issues. Your parents will benefit from speaking with a legal professional about their estate plans to gain peace of mind.

Important Parts of a Comprehensive Estate Plan

A comprehensive estate plan addresses two phases: After you’ve passed away and before you pass away. Estate planning documents that address what happens after you pass away include:

• Last will and testament. This is the most basic estate planning document. It specifies who will inherit what property after you pass away. It also names an executor who will gather your probate assets, pay off valid creditor claims and taxes, and distribute remaining property to designated beneficiaries according to the will.
• Living trust. An estate planning tool that can transfer property upon your death without going through probate. With a revocable living trust, you can continue to use your property for the remainder of your life. You can also continue to make changes to your trust during your lifetime.
• Special needs trust. A special needs trust provides for family members or elderly loved ones with disabilities. A special needs trust provides financial support but allows the individual to continue to qualify for government assistance programs, such as Medicare or Medicaid.
• Life insurance. Beneficiary designations on a life insurance policy can transfer assets outside of probate.

Estate planning documents that address end-of-life matters include:

• Healthcare proxy. Someone you designate to make healthcare decisions if you cannot direct your own medical care.
• Living will/advance healthcare directive. These documents outline the type of care you want if you are unable to communicate. For example, you can provide instructions regarding life-sustaining treatments, such as a feeding tube or CPR.
• Financial power of attorney. A document that allows someone to manage your financial affairs if you are unable.

Legal Advice for Estate Planning

When you’re ready to start making your estate plan, talk to a local estate law attorney. Trust and estate law varies by jurisdiction. Your state laws will determine your estate planning options. For more information about making an estate plan for your aging parents, talk to an estate planning lawyer.