Adopting Your Stepchildren

Stepparents play a very important role in a child’s development and well-being. If you marry someone with children and help raise them, it already feels like you’re their parent. However, without adoption, stepparents have very limited legal rights.

Adoption allows stepparents to formalize their relationship with a child. Through the legal adoption process, the adoptive parent can access full rights by becoming a child’s legal parent. Here is a brief overview of the most important things stepparents need to know about the stepparent adoption process. For legal help, contact an experienced adoption lawyer.

The Basics of Stepparent Adoption

Adoption is the formal process to create a legal relationship between a parent and a child. The adoptive parents file an adoption petition in family court to become the legal parents of the adoptee.

Without adoption, a stepparent does not have full parental rights over the child. Even a stepparent who has provided financial support for a child for many years lacks full parental rights unless they adopt the child. After formal adoption, a stepparent gets full parental rights — no different than those of the child’s biological parents.

Stepparent adoption is one of the most common types of adoption. The process is the easiest when the stepparent is married to the child’s biological parent.

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Why Stepchild Adoption Is a Great Option

Adopting stepchildren is a big decision, but it’s often a very happy one, says Elizabeth A. Douglas, owner of the Douglas Family Law Group in White Plains, New York.

“The vast majority of stepparents adopt in order to close the loop within the family unit,” Douglas says. “They’ve spent a long time, sometimes years, raising the child. Adoption closes the loop on the family everyone has created together — and makes the arrangement a legally recognizable one.”

Many times, stepchildren themselves will ask to be adopted, especially after new brothers and sisters are born. Also, other children at school may be asking why siblings have different last names. “It’s the final step that says, ‘I am a member of family X,'” Douglas says.

Adoption can be in the child’s best interests, but there are legal reasons for doing it, too. Without an adoption, a stepchild won’t inherit anything from someone who is not their natural parent unless specifically named in the will.

If the birth parent become incapacitated, a stepparent who is not a legal guardian couldn’t make decisions about the child’s health and education.

When The Adoption Process Might Not Always Be the Best Fit

Still, adopting a child you care about is not a decision to be taken lightly, says Robin D. Carton, a partner at Carton & Rosoff in White Plains. Once you adopt that child, they are legally yours forever.

“If you’ve adopted your spouse’s child and the marriage ends, you may be responsible for paying child support to your former spouse because the child is legally yours,” Carton says.

What Happens if the Birth Parent Doesn’t Consent to the Stepparent Adoption

Another reason stepparents don’t always adopt is that the biological parent is still the parent of the child. In order for a stepparent to adopt, the birth parent must either consent to the adoption or their parental rights must be legally terminated.

A stepparent rarely has an issue getting consent from their own partner. It is the child’s other birth parent who may be an issue. “Even if the biological parent has had no contact with their child and has not been financially supporting them, they might not consent,” Douglas says.

“Oftentimes, the absentee parent maintains a strong feeling that their ‘right’ as the biological parent should survive regardless of their actual involvement in their child’s life. The issue is an emotional one, and there is usually some initial pushback about allowing another person or proposed new parent to take over what they perceive to be an absolute legal right. They they don’t want to lose that right.”

If a birth parent will not consent to the stepparent adoption, the adoption becomes contested, adds Carton. But the process can be long, expensive, and traumatic for all parties. One must demonstrate that the birth parent has abandoned or neglected the child.

“Adoption is a personal choice. There are many reasons that a stepparent may choose not to adopt, and every familial relationship is different,” Carton says. “For example, some children do not wish to be adopted, and consent is required by a child who is 14 years of age or older. The child may not wish to confront the birth or legal parent, and may prefer to wait until he or she can be adopted as an adult, which would not require notification to the birth or legal parent.”

Find a Family Law Attorney With Experience in the Stepparent Adoption Process

When the adoption legal process is finalized, it’s a time of celebration. A judge congratulates everyone, and the adopted children are often presented with gifts, Carton says.

“Although there are many distressing experiences in family court,” she says, “adoptions are truly the silver lining.”

The stepparent adoption process can vary depending on state law. For more information on background checks, home study, and other adoption information, reach out to an experienced adoption attorney for legal advice.