What Should Be Included in a Parenting Plan?

A parenting plan defines the responsibilities and roles of each parent following a divorce or separation. It addresses child custody, finances, and anything else that will impact the child’s upbringing. A well-drafted parenting plan can serve as a reference and resource for the parents to ensure the child’s well-being.

Parents creating their detailed parenting plan is a sensible and practical step. If the parents can’t agree on a plan, the court will do it for them. For help crafting a parenting plan, contact a child custody lawyer.

Benefits of Agreeing to a Parenting Plan

Divorcing parents can jointly file a parenting plan with the family court if they agree on the provisions. If the parents can’t agree on a plan, they can file their own proposals separately with the court. Most courts will require the parents to participate in mediation to resolve their differences. The parents will share the cost of mediation unless the court determines those costs should be waived.

While it may seem daunting, it’s beneficial for parents to try to reach an agreement through mediation or collaborative methods. Otherwise, they’ll end up having to argue in family court, where a judge will make a ruling and issue a court order. By putting control in the hands of the court, parents may find themselves in a worse position than if they had agreed to a compromise.

Richard E. Garriott, a family law attorney at Garriott Maurer in Virginia Beach, Virginia, explains that parents can create their own parenting plan, but that if it fails, the court will do it for them. “A parenting plan is always something that people agree to, whereas ultimately if they can’t come to an agreement, the court is going to issue a parenting order — a custody and parenting schedule that would go into an order that will then be forced upon the parents.”

Six Essentials of a Parenting Plan

There are several issues that a strong parenting plan should address.

1. Parenting Time Schedule

The section of the parenting plan that tends to get the most attention is the time-sharing schedule. This determines when each parent will have physical custody of the child.

The schedule should include a routine for weekdays and weekends and address school breaks, holidays, birthdays, and special occasions. Many parenting plans will create an alternating schedule where parents take turns for the major holidays and school breaks.

“It’s important to get everything down because the holidays often lead to a bazillion phone calls in the days leading up to Christmas, Thanksgiving, and other big holidays. They can be a source of contention if they’re not spelled out well,” says Dana L. Parks, a family law attorney with ParksClevenger in Overland Park, Kansas.

It’s helpful for parents to plan for the possibility of vacations. One parent may want to take the child on an extended vacation that would interfere with the set schedule. The parenting plan can account for this by giving each parent a set amount of time for vacations, such as a week or two annually.

Another common term parents will include in their parenting plan is a right of first refusal. For example, before hiring a babysitter, a parent should contact the other and give them the right to watch the child. If the other parent can’t, the first parent can go forward with a babysitter. This term helps parents maximize their time with the child and reduce the amount of time the child is with a third party.

2. Decision-Making Authority

Parenting involves making a million decisions for your child. Some decisions are minor, like what to eat for breakfast. Others are significant, such as which school the child should attend.

“There are a lot of families who agree on things, but for those who tend not to agree, it’s important to have those points of contention spelled out. Every family is different, and so are the parenting plans,” Parks says.

“It used to be people who got along well would say, ‘We’ll share time with the kids as we go, and have a great life.’ Obviously, if a material change occurred, that didn’t work all the time, and people would head to court to argue over the plan. That’s why, now, the court wants to see specific things in a permanent parenting plan,” she adds.

Life is unpredictable, so a parenting plan should also include provisions for emergency situations like medical care.

“Most parenting plans build in a provision that, in the case that they can’t agree, they should try to resolve it by an alternative dispute resolution method,” Parks adds. “[The plan] builds in a layer of, ‘OK, we couldn’t figure it out between the two of us; let’s sit down with a neutral third party to give us some parameters and guidelines to work through it.’ If parties have a significant conflict, they may also have a case manager for assistance.”

3. Child Support and Expenses

One of the most common sources of conflict for divorced co-parents is money. The parenting plan can reduce these conflicts by clearly outlining financial responsibilities.

Potential expenses could include:

• Child care
• Daycare
• Health insurance
• Extracurricular activities

Some parents also choose to address the potential of higher education. They could agree to set a certain amount of money aside in a savings account for secondary education. Another common issue addressed is deciding who will claim the child on their taxes.

4. Special Considerations

Each family’s situation is unique. For example children with special needs may require additional daily care, education, and healthcare considerations.

Another common issue is new partners. Some parents want to meet their ex’s new partner before introducing them to the child. Other parents agree to a time period that must pass before introducing new partners.

Some parents choose to outline the level of involvement of extended family members. This can be important if there are existing or ongoing conflicts with family members. There may also be concerns about mental health or substance abuse.

5. Communication

A parenting plan should include communication expectations. Often, divorcing parents struggle to communicate healthily and effectively. Outline how, when, and why they must communicate and facilitate co-parenting.

Define how parents will communicate with each other. For some parents, this could be as simple as calls and text messages. For others, it may require the use of a court-recognized parenting app.

For example, a parenting plan may dictate that one parent will notify the other parent of an appointment within 24 hours of scheduling. “Make them specific, so people will know what their obligations are under the plan. Activities, appointments, school events, and those kinds of things are all important to spell out,” Parks says.

Parents should also agree on who has access to the child’s information. One parent will need to hold the original birth certificate, passport, health insurance card, and other important documents. However, the other parent may need access to those documents. A plan should outline how and when to get access.

6. Miscellaneous Provisions

A parenting plan can be as simple or as detailed as the parents want it to be. The more situations parents address, the less room there is for conflict later.

Some situations commonly spark conflict and can be addressed in a parenting plan:

• Pick-up and drop-off times and procedures. The parenting plan can reduce conflict by specifically detailing the logistics.
• Updating the plan in the future. Children of different ages have different needs. A parenting plan that works for small children may no longer be functional for pre-teens or teenagers. Parents can include provisions that make it simple for them to adjust the plan as the child ages and circumstances change.
• Technology and screen time. The parents agree to terms like when children can get their first cell phone, social media, or other online accounts. They can agree on when children have access to technology, supervision requirements, and usage time limits.
• Where the child’s belonging will be. Children who regularly spend time at both parents’ houses will inevitably carry belongings from one house to the other. For contentious parents, this can create an issue. The parenting plan can outline that children’s belongings stay at each parent’s house. It can also define which belongings can go from one house to the other.

Practical Tips for Implementing a Parenting Plan

Parents in the process of negotiating a parenting plan can start with a template. “There are some resources online that have sample plans,” says Park. “Some people who fill those out thoroughly might make a decent plan that works fine, but they are check-the-box or fill-in-the-blank style plans. They aren’t as personalized as you might want or need. People who aren’t collaborative or don’t have great cooperation would not do well with the do-it-yourself approach.”

It can also be helpful to create a parenting plan checklist. Parents can add to their checklist as they think about things or talk with friends and family. Then, they can bring up their checklist of items with their attorney. That way, they don’t risk forgetting a significant term.

It can be tough for divorcing parents, but they should try to remain open to communication and cooperation. Being willing to compromise is crucial. While neither parent will get everything they want, the final parenting plan will be in the child’s best interest.

The Role of Legal Professionals

Divorcing parents should each hire their own family law attorney. Each attorney will have a client relationship that requires them to protect their client’s rights. This ensures the parenting plan isn’t one-sided or unduly unfair to one parent.

Parks says the costs of legal services vary wildly based on the family. Those who are cooperative will pull a plan together quickly and cheaply. Those with conflicts can lead to court hearings. “If the judge has to do the parenting plan, you’re looking at extensive litigation eight months down the road. Whereas if attorneys and parents are sitting down at a table to work it out, it may take an hour or two.”

“More advantageous to any party when you’re going into court or trying to work out a parenting plan is to speak with an attorney knowledgeable in family law,” says Garriott, “because they’re going to be able to guide the client. The parent has to know what the realities of the situation are if they do end up having to go to court. The parent may have expectations that just aren’t going to happen because that’s not something that the law is going to take into account.”

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