Does My State Allow Proxy Marriage?

Many couples like to plan elaborate weddings, and some elope alone at the courthouse. However, in some cases, a couple may want to marry even when they cannot appear together for the ceremony.

A few states allow for legal proxy marriage. A proxy marriage is a marriage in which someone else “stands in” for the absent party. In other words, one party to the wedding ceremony will not actually be physically present when the couple is legally married.

Proxy marriages are uncommon. In most U.S. states, proxy marriages are not valid. However, a few states allow for proxy marriage in limited circumstances. For questions about legal marriage laws in your state, talk to a local family law attorney.

Understanding Proxy Marriages

Proxy marriages provide a way for couples to legally marry when they cannot be physically together for the ceremony. Most states require physical presence before an officiant for a legal marriage, and most require witnesses.

Only a handful of states authorize single proxy marriages, where someone else stands in for the absent party.

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State Limits on Proxy Marriages

In Texas and California, these marriages are limited to when the absent party is a military service member stationed overseas. Colorado also allows the absent party to be an active-duty military member or a U.S. government contractor overseas.

Kansas and Montana are more flexible in allowing proxy marriage. In Kansas, only one party must be present. The absent party could be in the military, in a foreign country, or incarcerated. Montana is the only state to authorize double proxy marriage, with neither of the parties present for the ceremony. However, Montana requires that one party be active-duty military personnel or a resident of Montana.

Utah does not allow proxy marriages but does allow virtual weddings. As long as the parties meet the other requirements for a legal marriage, couples can get married in Utah via live video conferencing. Utah authorized remote marriages after the COVID-19 pandemic.

[California has] this rule that if a marriage is valid in any other state or country — absent public policy exceptions — California will recognize that marriage.

Legal Requirements for a Proxy Wedding

The specific legal requirements for proxy marriages vary by state law. The officiant solemnizing the marriage can marry the couple if they are satisfied that the absent party is unable to be present and has consented to the marriage.

States may require the absent party to give power of attorney to their stand-in. A power of attorney is essentially a written authorization to represent one’s financial or legal affairs. A duplicate copy of the POA documents is not sufficient. As a general rule, the proxy must bring the official POA documents to complete the marriage by signing the marriage license (or marriage certificate).

Will Other States Recognize a Proxy Marriage?

Andrew Botros, a family law attorney in San Diego, says: “We have this rule that if a marriage is valid in any other state or country — absent public policy exceptions — California will recognize that marriage. You can do a proxy marriage, and, if you do it the right way, it will be a valid marriage.”

The Full Faith and Credit Clause of the U.S. Constitution requires states to recognize valid marriages performed in other states. If you get a legal proxy marriage in Kansas, your marriage is recognized as legal in New York or Hawaii.

Immigration Recognition of a Proxy Marriage

Federal law does not recognize proxy marriage for immigration purposes. The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) will not recognize a spouse of any marriage ceremony where the parties are not physically present in the presence of each other.

Immigration law will only recognize your marriage after you are physically together after the ceremony. For immigration purposes, the couple must provide proof of consummation after the ceremony, which could include:

• Birth certificate of a child listing both parents after the ceremony
• Airline tickets showing the parties were both present at the same place and at the same time
• Evidence of living together, like a joint lease or utility bills

Find Legal Help for a Proxy Marriage

An attorney can review your situation and explain your legal options if you need a proxy marriage. An attorney can tell you if you qualify and what you have to do to get a valid proxy marriage if your state does not allow it. If you have any questions about marriage by proxy, contact an experienced family law attorney for help with your case.